Hello, hello! Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend! Mine was pretty boring with the exception of Friday night. Can I just tell you how much I hate that I'm a grown up and having an internal alarm clock now?? Ugh. I can't sleep past 9am on the weekend to save my life. But that does mean that today I went shopping for jeans (which every girl knows can be unfun) and went to the grocery and was back home before 1pm. Side note: If you are a fan of AE jeans, now is the time to get them. They are all $30... I realized today that even though I am one person and live alone, cleaning, laundry, work, etc take up so much time! Hats off to all the moms with kids who do this for 3 and 4 and 5 people. Some days I just feel like I'm always cleaning! And I am a clean and organized person!
One of my latest reads last week was a book called Trigger by Susan Vaught. Totally different than the usual love story stuff I torture myself with but it was on the list of recommended reads by Amazon for under $4. Trigger is about a 16 year boy (he also is the stereotypical jock/popular kid) who attempted to kill himself by shooting himself in the head. Except, he fails. He doesn't remember anything from the year prior to the suicide attempt and really has no friends anymore to fill him in on why he attempted to take his own life. His family doesn't know why he did what he did, so the book takes you along on his journey to understand why he attempted to kill himself and how to not be that person again. He has to relearn how to walk, has to carry a memory book and in conversation will spit out random words like socks and frog farts. Pretty good book and I think is a more current view on high school compared to when I went through. It also paints a very good picture about how things like this can affect the whole family dynamic. As you can imagine, his parents had a very difficult time with this.
Ok so this post isn't about online dating, speed dating or anything else crazy but just dating in general. Seriously, I don't get it. Not even a little bit and that's clearly why I am still single. Yes, yes I know it will happen when it happens and love finds you when you don't expect it. But, in the meantime, is there not some sort of relationship that can teach me some little short lesson about what I do or don't want? Or at least entertain me and be my date to weddings and double dates. In talking with my best friend on the way home Friday night, I am apparently going for all the wrong guys or I am just really not wanting a relationship. So I made a little list... In the past 2 years, I have gone out with (at least one date) with about 10 guys (I think it might be a little higher). I thought maybe there were a few guys but making a list made me say "Oh, crap.". Obviously I know that you won't always hit it off with everyone you go out with but how did none of these result in some sort of actual exclusive relationship?! Yes, my standards may be a little high. Even my dad will tell you I can find something wrong with everyone. But what about the ones I can't find something wrong with? Well, they disappear. Serious. I will never understand the lack of honesty or just telling someone that yea, you are fun, but not for me. I'm not sure how nice it is, but I have no problem doing it. No reason to string someone along.
I've decided that I'm single because of 1 of 2 reasons: Reason 1: Of course the one that us girls with morals have to deal with. Not being the girl that sleeps around on the first date, or second date, or the stereotypical third date. I guess I'm old fashioned in that I want a real relationship. Crazy that I would actually want to love someone or at least think I can love them before doing something like that? Apparently. Or at least the guys that believe the same thing are impossible to find. Reason 2: I can be one of the guys. Yes, on a Saturday I would rather sit at home and watch motocross on tv than go to a mall (unless mom is buying, then I will set the DVR :)). Brotocross and RacerX are always on my recent internet pages and my twitter is basically just for following racers and country musicians. I am a subscriber to Car and Driver and go to car shows with my dad and my brother. I would rather be in a t-shirt, jeans and my Nikes. That said, I do like being girly and putting on a dress and some heels. But I'm not going to fake who I am to get some guy to be interested enough to like me and then disappear when I put on my sweats and put my hair up in a ponytail. Another issue is that I think guys tell you they want someone who has a job, their own place and is independent (all of which I am), but I think they would much rather attempt to rescue someone. Just about every guy I know has dated the idiot that can do nothing for herself and lacks common sense that tells her she is driving a Chevy and not a Ford and those relationships last months and years longer than they should. Is being independent intimidating??? I thought not being needy was a plus but maybe I'm doing it all wrong. I don't want to chase guys. Either you are interested and want to see me, or you aren't, which is fine too. Maybe that is the whole wrong attitude, but I don't know how else to be. If you call or text too much, you are a stage 5 clinger. If you don't, then you aren't interested. Someone tell me the happy medium! :) Is this a problem only I run into? I cannot be the only one who can't have a normal dating experience that leads to a relationship. Yes, I know I have screwed up at least 1 of those 10 or so potential relationships but geez. I can't catch a break! If any other single ladies (or guys for that matter) have any words of wisdom, I would love to hear it. Seriously! Again, I know love will happen when it's supposed to. But I can't get past a 3rd date!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I'll Bet You a Drink or Two That I Can Make You Put That Lampshade on Your Head!
Good Morning and Happy Tuesday! I probably should have blogged last night but I'm a boring, old person and passed out on the couch by like 7. I had a busy weekend and was seriously lacking in the sleep department. And can I just tell you how much I miss spending time with my own bed?? How I end up on couches, I have no idea. But those couches have nothing on my bed. During college, I was the girl who barely went out to the bars, got annoyed by drunks and would rather be at home. Oh how that has changed. Nothing like acting like you are 21 when you are really 25. I figure at this point... if you can't beat em, join em. And they are really kind of fun!
This weekend I learned so much about how the whole thing works when you try to pick people up in a bar. Keep in mind that I would never be the type to go home with a random from a bar. Yes, I know people do it all the time. I feel like you are just asking for something bad to happen. The guys you have never met and decide to go home with, could really just want to make you a skin coat. That is not for me! That said, Friday was without a doubt the most awkward night of my life and really fun all rolled into one. The whole thing started when boy#1 and I made plans to hang out Friday night. Yes, at this point he is boy#1.. Ridiculous that they need numbers? Maybe a little, but you don't get their names.. Ok, so Friday night rolls around and boy#1 tells me he spaced and that boy#2 is coming to town. I think ok, whatever, I'm actually pooped and would be ok with going to bed early. Then I get invited along to Broad Ripple. 1 Heather, 2 boys. Should be awkward enough right? Especially since boy#2 is the boy I saw like 3 or 4 weekends in a row and nothing ever happened. Boy#1 is way cute and boy#2 decided he likes the single life after seeing me a bunch. Following? Good! So I decide to be DD yet again. This time I swear it's going to have to actually happen because I am not leaving my car in BRip overnight to get towed away.
The first bar we go to is Brothers, which I really don't like. Last time I was there, it was packed! And being a short person, I didn't stand a chance. Nothing like being stepped on all night and never being able to get to the bar. So we get to Brothers and really it's not too crazy crowded. It's full of people but I can actually walk around. The whole dynamic of 2 guys being in a bar with 1 girl I found to be hilarious! I really had no chance of getting hit on all night which was fine with me, but I think girls were confused on which guy I was with. If I was talking to boy#1, he got no attention. If I was talking to boy #2, he got no attention. And when I talked to them both, I think other guys wondered why I was awesome enough to get two guys. ;) While standing around and people watching a girl walks by and basically undresses boy#1 with her eyes and then some. Really?! Girls do that stuff?? It was awkward enough that the 3 of us noticed and were in shock at how blatant it was. Not going to lie, the green eyed monster of jealousy popped up a little because I was so annoyed. I don't think I have been jealous of a girl looking at a guy I was with in a long time, but there it was. After some more standing around, both boys noticed a girl a table away from us talking to her friends. And she noticed them looking. At this point boy#2 tells me how for the rest of the night she will dance around with her butt to them for the rest of the night. Sure enough, she did. And then she proceeded to dance like a slut with one of her friends. Really?! Eww. Boy#1 notices pretty girl in a black dress and tells me she will go home with someone by the end of the night. I didn't see it. Not even for a second. She was girl next door pretty wearing a black dress I could wear to work and didn't even have on hooker heels. But, about 2 hrs later befrore we moved on to the next bar, she was sitting at a table with a guy she wasn't with earlier in the night, being more touchy feely than I would be in a public place. By the time we got to Rock Lobster, our second stop of the night, boy#1 and boy#2 (I feel like I'm referring to them like Thing #1 and Thing #2) were pretty much hammered. It was pretty much an uneventful time at the 2nd bar because the guys were too drunk to notice any girls and they had already been warned that no bar sluts were allowed in my car since I was driving home. :)
Not that anything miraculous happened Friday, but going out to the bars with guys is a whole other experience than going with your girl friends. Seems like guys are always on the prowl and know exactly what they are looking for. It's like a shark who senses blood in the water.
Ok now to the boring stuff.. reading! I'm such a dork I know, but one of my New Year's resolutions was to read at least a book a month. I think I've read enough for the whole year.. A few weeks ago, I read Easy by Tammara Webber. Boring girl goes off to college with her boyfriend who becomes fraternity boy and basically forgets she exists and breaks her heart to go have fun with other girls. Douche.. She has a bad night and mystery boy comes to save her, all the while she is emailing the TA back and forth in a class she missed while mending her broken heart. She falls for both guys but there's a surprise there.. I can't tell you, but it's good. Easy read with lots of twists and turns.
Ok. That's enough for today. Have a good week and I'm sure with the Happy Hour party Friday, I will have plenty to add next week!
This weekend I learned so much about how the whole thing works when you try to pick people up in a bar. Keep in mind that I would never be the type to go home with a random from a bar. Yes, I know people do it all the time. I feel like you are just asking for something bad to happen. The guys you have never met and decide to go home with, could really just want to make you a skin coat. That is not for me! That said, Friday was without a doubt the most awkward night of my life and really fun all rolled into one. The whole thing started when boy#1 and I made plans to hang out Friday night. Yes, at this point he is boy#1.. Ridiculous that they need numbers? Maybe a little, but you don't get their names.. Ok, so Friday night rolls around and boy#1 tells me he spaced and that boy#2 is coming to town. I think ok, whatever, I'm actually pooped and would be ok with going to bed early. Then I get invited along to Broad Ripple. 1 Heather, 2 boys. Should be awkward enough right? Especially since boy#2 is the boy I saw like 3 or 4 weekends in a row and nothing ever happened. Boy#1 is way cute and boy#2 decided he likes the single life after seeing me a bunch. Following? Good! So I decide to be DD yet again. This time I swear it's going to have to actually happen because I am not leaving my car in BRip overnight to get towed away.
The first bar we go to is Brothers, which I really don't like. Last time I was there, it was packed! And being a short person, I didn't stand a chance. Nothing like being stepped on all night and never being able to get to the bar. So we get to Brothers and really it's not too crazy crowded. It's full of people but I can actually walk around. The whole dynamic of 2 guys being in a bar with 1 girl I found to be hilarious! I really had no chance of getting hit on all night which was fine with me, but I think girls were confused on which guy I was with. If I was talking to boy#1, he got no attention. If I was talking to boy #2, he got no attention. And when I talked to them both, I think other guys wondered why I was awesome enough to get two guys. ;) While standing around and people watching a girl walks by and basically undresses boy#1 with her eyes and then some. Really?! Girls do that stuff?? It was awkward enough that the 3 of us noticed and were in shock at how blatant it was. Not going to lie, the green eyed monster of jealousy popped up a little because I was so annoyed. I don't think I have been jealous of a girl looking at a guy I was with in a long time, but there it was. After some more standing around, both boys noticed a girl a table away from us talking to her friends. And she noticed them looking. At this point boy#2 tells me how for the rest of the night she will dance around with her butt to them for the rest of the night. Sure enough, she did. And then she proceeded to dance like a slut with one of her friends. Really?! Eww. Boy#1 notices pretty girl in a black dress and tells me she will go home with someone by the end of the night. I didn't see it. Not even for a second. She was girl next door pretty wearing a black dress I could wear to work and didn't even have on hooker heels. But, about 2 hrs later befrore we moved on to the next bar, she was sitting at a table with a guy she wasn't with earlier in the night, being more touchy feely than I would be in a public place. By the time we got to Rock Lobster, our second stop of the night, boy#1 and boy#2 (I feel like I'm referring to them like Thing #1 and Thing #2) were pretty much hammered. It was pretty much an uneventful time at the 2nd bar because the guys were too drunk to notice any girls and they had already been warned that no bar sluts were allowed in my car since I was driving home. :)
Not that anything miraculous happened Friday, but going out to the bars with guys is a whole other experience than going with your girl friends. Seems like guys are always on the prowl and know exactly what they are looking for. It's like a shark who senses blood in the water.
Ok now to the boring stuff.. reading! I'm such a dork I know, but one of my New Year's resolutions was to read at least a book a month. I think I've read enough for the whole year.. A few weeks ago, I read Easy by Tammara Webber. Boring girl goes off to college with her boyfriend who becomes fraternity boy and basically forgets she exists and breaks her heart to go have fun with other girls. Douche.. She has a bad night and mystery boy comes to save her, all the while she is emailing the TA back and forth in a class she missed while mending her broken heart. She falls for both guys but there's a surprise there.. I can't tell you, but it's good. Easy read with lots of twists and turns.
Ok. That's enough for today. Have a good week and I'm sure with the Happy Hour party Friday, I will have plenty to add next week!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
POF: Plenty of Freaks
Post number 3! Welcome back!
For reading this week, I figured I would tell all you girls about a book you must get! Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30. This book is part of a Glamour Magazine list and has stories by actresses, singers (Taylor Swift!), women in finance, and news anchors. This is the best list and I have really tried to make sure I do these things. I have a little under 5 years left and love checking some of the things off. For example, the list includes things like: By 30 you should have: Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour, one best friend who always makes you laugh, and a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. By 30 you should know: How to fall in love without losing yourself, how you feel about having kids, and how to live alone, even if you don't like to. This really is an amazing book. These are things I would have never thought to make myself aware of but am so glad I can check some of these things off my list!
Now, on to more fun things... like internet dating!! Yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds. And those of you in long term relationships with fabulous significant others, well you are lucky to have met them in college, at work, or even at your local fair and shared a drunk make-out. Since college is over, there are 3 guys at work (not one of which who is under 40), and my friends, who I love dearly, can't set me up with anyone to save their lives, I am/was hopeful of ending up like one of the one in five relationships that now start on an online dating site. Well, I started on Match about a year ago. I figured while it may cost money to have a subscription, the free dinners would make up for it. Yes, being a girl you may have a monthly gift, but you also get free dinner and drinks. Boys, you are really missing out on that. Especially since you all have to pay for match and buy drinks. Anyway, after a few messages back and forth with a guy from the Castleton area, the date was planned and we went to dinner. Now, I have always heard you should never date a police officer. I didn't get the point of that since grandpa was a cop and he was totally normal. Well, this guy was less than normal. Super awkward the whole time and at some point mentioned he wondered what I would look like in his uniform. Seriously!! I wonder what my face looked like when he said that because I'm sure it was ridiculous. I know first dates can be nerve wracking, but who cares! There is no excuse for that kind of stuff to come out of your mouth. These are usually people you will never see again, especially with online dating, but if you are really interested in dating, that is not the route to take. Needless to say, that guy didn't get a second date. Fast forward a few months and I end up going out with a cop again. I don't know how I attract them, but I do so I figured I would give this guy a try. Date planned and we met at a restaurant about 10 minutes from my apartment. Disaster yet again. The guy barely talked and when he did, it was just about his job. I know as a police officer you must see some pretty interesting stuff, but you do have a life outside of work right? No? Oh, then that explains it! No more dates with cops. Although now I am hopeful that if I'm pulled over in Marion County or Hamilton County, maybe it will be them and maybe I can get out of a ticket! ;) My grandpa must have been a rare breed or my grandma is a saint. After failing at everything on Match, I stopped paying for that (neither date was worth it obviously!).
Then, one of my friends told me about POF: Plenty of Fish. And it's free! That means more guys and better chances right? Not even! Oh my gosh the amount of creepers is ridiculous. I don't even think I have had 1 date from POF. If I have, clearly it wasn't worth remembering. Now I know girls who have met their guys on there but it just may not be in the cards for me or I am too lazy to spend all my time digging for the good guys. I'm pretty sure guys on there all want hookups or to be a pen pal. If I wanted a pen pal, I'd pick someone a whole lot cooler and in a better locale than Indy. I'd rather have a 5th grade pen pal from Indonesia than your boring butt. So here we are, about one year later and I decided to give match another try. I'll keep you up to date on any awkwardness that stems for that! Until then here's the disclaimer I put on my profile: If you are old enough to be my dad, or your profile has you drinking or making obscene gestures in every picture, we won't be a match. I try to live my life in a way that makes me the nice girl you can take home to mom. The crazy party boy isn't the guy I want to take home to meet dad. That's not too much to ask right? Laugh at it.. because guys really don't read it! Nothing like getting a wink or message from a 53 yr old..
Oh, and the funniest part of online dating (Match in particular)... seeing people you know! It always makes you feel better when you see you aren't the only one who is unlucky in love. The weekly emails of who your best "matches" are makes me laugh because every now and then, I see my ex listed. That should automatically make me lose all faith in the online dating system. If you think that's my match, you must be drunk. The temptation is there to look at the profiles of the guys I know, but then they know I looked. Online dating is less than sneaky...
For reading this week, I figured I would tell all you girls about a book you must get! Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30. This book is part of a Glamour Magazine list and has stories by actresses, singers (Taylor Swift!), women in finance, and news anchors. This is the best list and I have really tried to make sure I do these things. I have a little under 5 years left and love checking some of the things off. For example, the list includes things like: By 30 you should have: Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour, one best friend who always makes you laugh, and a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. By 30 you should know: How to fall in love without losing yourself, how you feel about having kids, and how to live alone, even if you don't like to. This really is an amazing book. These are things I would have never thought to make myself aware of but am so glad I can check some of these things off my list!
Now, on to more fun things... like internet dating!! Yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds. And those of you in long term relationships with fabulous significant others, well you are lucky to have met them in college, at work, or even at your local fair and shared a drunk make-out. Since college is over, there are 3 guys at work (not one of which who is under 40), and my friends, who I love dearly, can't set me up with anyone to save their lives, I am/was hopeful of ending up like one of the one in five relationships that now start on an online dating site. Well, I started on Match about a year ago. I figured while it may cost money to have a subscription, the free dinners would make up for it. Yes, being a girl you may have a monthly gift, but you also get free dinner and drinks. Boys, you are really missing out on that. Especially since you all have to pay for match and buy drinks. Anyway, after a few messages back and forth with a guy from the Castleton area, the date was planned and we went to dinner. Now, I have always heard you should never date a police officer. I didn't get the point of that since grandpa was a cop and he was totally normal. Well, this guy was less than normal. Super awkward the whole time and at some point mentioned he wondered what I would look like in his uniform. Seriously!! I wonder what my face looked like when he said that because I'm sure it was ridiculous. I know first dates can be nerve wracking, but who cares! There is no excuse for that kind of stuff to come out of your mouth. These are usually people you will never see again, especially with online dating, but if you are really interested in dating, that is not the route to take. Needless to say, that guy didn't get a second date. Fast forward a few months and I end up going out with a cop again. I don't know how I attract them, but I do so I figured I would give this guy a try. Date planned and we met at a restaurant about 10 minutes from my apartment. Disaster yet again. The guy barely talked and when he did, it was just about his job. I know as a police officer you must see some pretty interesting stuff, but you do have a life outside of work right? No? Oh, then that explains it! No more dates with cops. Although now I am hopeful that if I'm pulled over in Marion County or Hamilton County, maybe it will be them and maybe I can get out of a ticket! ;) My grandpa must have been a rare breed or my grandma is a saint. After failing at everything on Match, I stopped paying for that (neither date was worth it obviously!).
Then, one of my friends told me about POF: Plenty of Fish. And it's free! That means more guys and better chances right? Not even! Oh my gosh the amount of creepers is ridiculous. I don't even think I have had 1 date from POF. If I have, clearly it wasn't worth remembering. Now I know girls who have met their guys on there but it just may not be in the cards for me or I am too lazy to spend all my time digging for the good guys. I'm pretty sure guys on there all want hookups or to be a pen pal. If I wanted a pen pal, I'd pick someone a whole lot cooler and in a better locale than Indy. I'd rather have a 5th grade pen pal from Indonesia than your boring butt. So here we are, about one year later and I decided to give match another try. I'll keep you up to date on any awkwardness that stems for that! Until then here's the disclaimer I put on my profile: If you are old enough to be my dad, or your profile has you drinking or making obscene gestures in every picture, we won't be a match. I try to live my life in a way that makes me the nice girl you can take home to mom. The crazy party boy isn't the guy I want to take home to meet dad. That's not too much to ask right? Laugh at it.. because guys really don't read it! Nothing like getting a wink or message from a 53 yr old..
Oh, and the funniest part of online dating (Match in particular)... seeing people you know! It always makes you feel better when you see you aren't the only one who is unlucky in love. The weekly emails of who your best "matches" are makes me laugh because every now and then, I see my ex listed. That should automatically make me lose all faith in the online dating system. If you think that's my match, you must be drunk. The temptation is there to look at the profiles of the guys I know, but then they know I looked. Online dating is less than sneaky...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)