Hello, hello! Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend! Mine was pretty boring with the exception of Friday night. Can I just tell you how much I hate that I'm a grown up and having an internal alarm clock now?? Ugh. I can't sleep past 9am on the weekend to save my life. But that does mean that today I went shopping for jeans (which every girl knows can be unfun) and went to the grocery and was back home before 1pm. Side note: If you are a fan of AE jeans, now is the time to get them. They are all $30... I realized today that even though I am one person and live alone, cleaning, laundry, work, etc take up so much time! Hats off to all the moms with kids who do this for 3 and 4 and 5 people. Some days I just feel like I'm always cleaning! And I am a clean and organized person!
One of my latest reads last week was a book called Trigger by Susan Vaught. Totally different than the usual love story stuff I torture myself with but it was on the list of recommended reads by Amazon for under $4. Trigger is about a 16 year boy (he also is the stereotypical jock/popular kid) who attempted to kill himself by shooting himself in the head. Except, he fails. He doesn't remember anything from the year prior to the suicide attempt and really has no friends anymore to fill him in on why he attempted to take his own life. His family doesn't know why he did what he did, so the book takes you along on his journey to understand why he attempted to kill himself and how to not be that person again. He has to relearn how to walk, has to carry a memory book and in conversation will spit out random words like socks and frog farts. Pretty good book and I think is a more current view on high school compared to when I went through. It also paints a very good picture about how things like this can affect the whole family dynamic. As you can imagine, his parents had a very difficult time with this.
Ok so this post isn't about online dating, speed dating or anything else crazy but just dating in general. Seriously, I don't get it. Not even a little bit and that's clearly why I am still single. Yes, yes I know it will happen when it happens and love finds you when you don't expect it. But, in the meantime, is there not some sort of relationship that can teach me some little short lesson about what I do or don't want? Or at least entertain me and be my date to weddings and double dates. In talking with my best friend on the way home Friday night, I am apparently going for all the wrong guys or I am just really not wanting a relationship. So I made a little list... In the past 2 years, I have gone out with (at least one date) with about 10 guys (I think it might be a little higher). I thought maybe there were a few guys but making a list made me say "Oh, crap.". Obviously I know that you won't always hit it off with everyone you go out with but how did none of these result in some sort of actual exclusive relationship?! Yes, my standards may be a little high. Even my dad will tell you I can find something wrong with everyone. But what about the ones I can't find something wrong with? Well, they disappear. Serious. I will never understand the lack of honesty or just telling someone that yea, you are fun, but not for me. I'm not sure how nice it is, but I have no problem doing it. No reason to string someone along.
I've decided that I'm single because of 1 of 2 reasons: Reason 1: Of course the one that us girls with morals have to deal with. Not being the girl that sleeps around on the first date, or second date, or the stereotypical third date. I guess I'm old fashioned in that I want a real relationship. Crazy that I would actually want to love someone or at least think I can love them before doing something like that? Apparently. Or at least the guys that believe the same thing are impossible to find. Reason 2: I can be one of the guys. Yes, on a Saturday I would rather sit at home and watch motocross on tv than go to a mall (unless mom is buying, then I will set the DVR :)). Brotocross and RacerX are always on my recent internet pages and my twitter is basically just for following racers and country musicians. I am a subscriber to Car and Driver and go to car shows with my dad and my brother. I would rather be in a t-shirt, jeans and my Nikes. That said, I do like being girly and putting on a dress and some heels. But I'm not going to fake who I am to get some guy to be interested enough to like me and then disappear when I put on my sweats and put my hair up in a ponytail. Another issue is that I think guys tell you they want someone who has a job, their own place and is independent (all of which I am), but I think they would much rather attempt to rescue someone. Just about every guy I know has dated the idiot that can do nothing for herself and lacks common sense that tells her she is driving a Chevy and not a Ford and those relationships last months and years longer than they should. Is being independent intimidating??? I thought not being needy was a plus but maybe I'm doing it all wrong. I don't want to chase guys. Either you are interested and want to see me, or you aren't, which is fine too. Maybe that is the whole wrong attitude, but I don't know how else to be. If you call or text too much, you are a stage 5 clinger. If you don't, then you aren't interested. Someone tell me the happy medium! :) Is this a problem only I run into? I cannot be the only one who can't have a normal dating experience that leads to a relationship. Yes, I know I have screwed up at least 1 of those 10 or so potential relationships but geez. I can't catch a break! If any other single ladies (or guys for that matter) have any words of wisdom, I would love to hear it. Seriously! Again, I know love will happen when it's supposed to. But I can't get past a 3rd date!
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